A proud super mother!
How well we all knew it. Those years before we became mothers?! I too had sworn that there would be no plastic toys in the house, that my child would eat everything available and that, in a restaurant, my child would sit neatly (and quietly) at the table until everyone had finished…. Without screen! Oh yes, speaking of that screen. Half an hour of screen time, max! Because I would do it differently, I would do it this way and that way.
How does it usually work? Well...
Wuhahahahahaha well that was quite disappointing! Because, guess what, that's not how it works with children. You can direct them (a little), but they have a will and an opinion, a very strong opinion. They have a character and in our case a half Serbian character, which doesn't exactly make it any easier. Because how stubborn those two are. Not. Nor. Meal! I am now almost 9 years old, many parenting books, webinars, training courses, positive parenting meetings and headaches later.
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This is where we stand with all our pre-kids beliefs:
No plastic Fisher Price gang
Besides the fact that you just get a lot of plastic toys as a gift, the little ones often find that misery really fun. Especially when it is quiet, noisy and gives your mother downright chronic headaches.
Are they getting older? Then it only gets worse. Welcome to the world of Paw Patrol misery and Blaze monster trucks. Well, I can't be fooled and in recent years we have also managed to build up an enormous collection of wooden train tracks, including the fantastic car wash/garage/train station and matching wooden fire station. And there is also nice plastic. Such as Duplo and Lego, we have tons of them. The bins are then neatly stored in the cupboard. I'd rather look at the Wobbel and the most beautiful children's books all day long.
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This remains a difficult one. Because where is the line, when does your child really not like it and when does he pretend because he just doesn't feel like it. This has always been a thing, especially with Louis. Louis has always been a small, thin man, there
So it doesn't go into much anyway. And to make matters worse, it always came out very easily. In fact, he made himself throw up on command when he didn't feel like eating. And sure, then you can say: You eat this or you don't eat. But then his health comes first. And yes, I'll let him have a sandwich or a banana. Are we eating something that I know in advance that he is really not a fan of? Then I put the containers with cucumber and pepper on the table. Then at least they get their vitamins. And I have to say, it almost no longer applies. Because he tastes and enjoys more and more. So not constantly fighting a battle sometimes pays off.
Half an hour a day
I try…. Real. But when the bouncy ball cannot entertain itself for more than 3 minutes, it is miserable weather outside and you have a lot of work to do, then you want to be a little more flexible with the rules. Do they sit behind a screen all day? Hell no! But an extra hour sometimes creeps in. As long as they spend as much time outside as possible, cover themselves with mud, work their butts off and spend a lot of time with friends, everything will be fine.
Just sit still for a moment
For those who haven't noticed yet, Louis has ADHD. In my perfect picture of the future, which I so carefully put together when I was 16, I had not planned it, so to speak. He can't manage sitting still, for example. I could tape him to a chair, but the whole chair would still dance with him. So I let it go…. Very loose. Dejan, on the other hand, you put him down, preferably with food in front of him, and he can no longer move. So mission 50% successful I think.
There is no shouting
No rather not. I also get very tired of it. But sometimes, just sometimes, I catch myself, out of sheer frustration, sounding like a cross between a fishwife and a suckling pig. Because sometimes they are sooooo frustrating and sometimes they are sooooo annoying. What do I actually want to do? Put them both on Marktplaats... or stick them behind the wallpaper. But the first is forbidden and I have no wallpaper. Then there's nothing left for me to do but bleat. Just for a little while, I can get everything out of the way again.
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Does it never go according to plan?
Oh sure! So I have always sworn to myself that my children should be who they are. For example, Louis often hangs in a mermaid tail, with a
cuddly toy Ariel, on the couch and walked with pink painted nails for weeks. My children always come first and I go out with them as much as possible. Even if it's just to the playground around the corner. I tell them every day (many times) how much I love them and bury them in hugs and kisses. So no, I may not be a supermom. And yes, I often tend to be a bully. But all in all, we are doing quite well and I don't think they are having a bad time here after all.